1982 – 1995

The first 13 years of my life were the only years that felt somewhat normal… I was born to loving parents who provided love and stability. I had one older brother who lived with us for the majority of this time before he graduated in 1992 and went off into the world to begin a life of his own. Living in the same home for my entire life felt safe. I had good friends in the neighborhood and at school. We spent summers traveling and exploring new places as a family. None of us could have ever imagined how quickly all of that could change.

July 20, 1995 was the day my world changed. I would say that it stopped, but the truth is when life becomes hard, the world keeps going. On this day, I was asleep after a month in Pennsylvania with my cousins, walking miles per day, making typical teenage choices that we hoped the adults wouldn’t learn about, and barely sleeping. Suddenly, I woke up to my mom next to me crying. I recall the phone ringing shortly before this moment. “They think he killed someone”…

These five words changed the trajectory of my life, in an instant.

As I lean into self-discovery, I am reminded that I was not given the skills during this time that I needed to survive this season in a healthy manner. My parents did their best to guide me, but they were managing a journey that no one prepared them for as well.

That’s the thing about seasons of unexpected change. There isn’t always a preparation period. There may be a time that feels like we are preparing, but even that is not a guarantee to walk through the chaos, hurt, and confusion. Throughout this journey, I will share some of what I have learned and continue to learn.

I will move from here, into my teen years, to provide more of a history of who I am and how I got here. Some posts will be shorter than others, based on the time period and information shared. All posts will build to the present and future of my journey.